THE BHA is going to get someone to coach Oisin Murphy on how to be a jockey.
You just couldn’t make it up.

I wonder who they will choose?
In the Longines World’s Best Jockey rankings, only James McDonald, Mickael Barzalona, William Buick and Ryan Moore are rated above Britain’s five-time champion. Any of you free, lads?
Or maybe they will insist on Richard Perham, who is the Senior Coach at the British Racing School?
Lovely guy Richard, with a career highlight of winning the Stewards’ Cup at Glorious Goodwood.
I’m sure a prolific Group 1-winning, Classic-scoring jockey could learn much from him.
It’s bonkers.
And why is this happening you may ask?
Because Murphy has been suspended for 15 days (with five days deferred) for a period of six months or 200 rides following four breaches of the whip rules within six months.
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That’s shocking some of you will be saying.
Can’t he count? Why is he doing this? The poor horse. Absolutely the BHA should be coaching him on his whip use.
Nonsense.
On each of the four occasions Murphy has been found guilty he merely went one strike over the allowed six uses of the whip.
The number six, remember, has been plucked out of nowhere. It has no scientific base. It’s meaningless.
Just a group of people in an office saying: “Right, let’s say they can use the whip on the Flat six times”.
The BHA make Murphy, and indeed Sean Levey, who has suffered a similar fate, sound like villains.
They are not.
The villains here are the BHA. They are the ones who need the coaching. Not the jockeys.
Remember their rule essentially claims – as just one example – if you are in a close finish and use your whip six times and you win the race you are a hero. Done a perfect job.
But if you do exactly the same and use the whip seven times you are a jockey who needs to be banned, coaching and help.
I’m surprised counselling is not involved as well.
It’s crass in the extreme. No one could possibly believe that’s sensible.
The whip rules are a total mess. They take no account of skill and the way BHA handles the cases and talks to the professional sportsmen and women involved is condescending in the extreme.
I’m not defending Murphy or Levey here. The latter has been suspended for 26 days, with eight deferred.
I’m speaking out for all jockeys who have to battle with rules that have nothing to do with welfare or intelligent foundation.
As we all know the BHA created this mess with the whip because of what it thought was a public perception issue.
They defend it by passing the buck because they also insisted on using a Whip Review Group for consultation.
A carefully chosen group no doubt. Where was I?!
I could not find a single social media post on the rides involved with these latest bans, although it’s quite possible I missed some.
The point is, they offended no one.
Now everyone is discussing a situation which had zero consequence or negativity to British horse racing.
Podcasts have discussed the issue. I’m writing this column.
The BHA has single-handedly created the nightmare they were supposedly trying to prevent. Bonkers.
OK, onto Saturday’s racing…
Field sizes are pretty desperate in places, with Rubaud looking a steering job in something like the Grade 2 Elite Hurdle.
I’m turning to the Flat for my best bet, in a bid to make it four Naps on the trot following Strong Leader, Hamish and Calandagan. A Yeeehaaa to that!
It won’t be so easy today, as I’m opting for an each-way selection at long odds.
That all said, I expect a huge effort from STRESSFREE in the Virgin Bet November Handicap at Doncaster.
I’m hoping he will be around a 12-1 chance.
Stressfree is not a well handicapped horse.
But he’s been running well all year and hasn’t always had soft ground which suits him well.
He stayed on into seventh in this last year and I suspect he will be very hard to keep out the frame again after a perfectly decent run at Newbury last time where he was never placed to challenge.
David Noland rides for David O’Meara.
The great thing about Stressfree is he stays really strongly, and it will be like a bog at the home of the St Leger.
Just the kind of conditions where you have to keep reminding your horse to keep going.
What a shame the BHA don’t allow you to do that.
Funny old game.
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